Water Slide!
Splishing and Splashing,
Competitive races... The Water slide.
The slide was scratchy and sore, but that didn't stop me from having fun. My eyes were closed the first time I went down but then I got used to it.
The puddle at the bottom would lose its water every time someone would go down, so waiting filled the air.
I got a boost of frustration when the people in line were chanting "hurry up Lauren... HURRY UP!" I got tense, then sped down the wet splashing slide.
I pushed myself to do it, could you?
WALT: Compose a Poem about the Water Slide.
Monday, 12 November 2018
5 comments:
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ReplyDeleteHey Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI loved your poem about the waterslide I agree with you when you said you got fustrated from the poeple chanting "hurry up",
The one thing that caught my eye and the only thing that was wrong about this poem well not wrong but something you could change is the part were it says
Splishing and splashing
competitive races.. the water slide.
that part really confused me so maybe you could change that part.
- Your Bestie Shelby
Thanks for your feedback Shelby! I was trying to mean, splishing and splashing
ReplyDeletecompetitive races... the water slide.
like what happens at the water slide and the sound, or laying it on you like ... THE WATER SLIDE, you get it?
- Lauren (the writer)
Heyy Lauren again,
DeleteI don't get it but not everyone gets everything right!?! anyway I enjoyed reading your piece f work and I look forward to reading more
- Selby
Hot thanks
Delete